I didn't realize the power I had as a designer until I started school. I had always had praise on social media for my outfits but this was different. This week my hospitality class went to a place called PEAK Event Management Services. They do event rentals, like tables, linens, chairs, plates, etc. After the tour, our professor had us make a tablescape while they took the other half of the class on the tour. If you can't tell by now, I'm sure you know I loved it and had a blast! This blush glitz tablecloth had caught my eye as soon as we walked in and I knew I was going to use it. Rose gold is super in right now so I was like a mad man running around trying to find things that match. Color coordinating is kind of my thing after being in fashion for so long. I loved it but I was really surprised other people really loved it too. The professor said it was beautiful (and probably really expensive too.) and I was shook. But at the same time I felt confident that I picked the right major and feel like I can achieve anything with flying colors.
[if you know how to work Instagram you can scroll/click through this and see video]
One time, and I will always remember this distinctly, sixth grade. Sixth grade already sucked for me because I was already going through puberty and I was a bit more hormonal and hyperactive than others. People just didn't like me for whatever reason, something that is still a part of my personality to this day. I'm polarizing. Girls I used to be friends with previously weren't my friend anymore. For some reason, they just chose to pick on me, probably because I was ugly. Gina had a birthday party and invited literally everybody in the class (and the smelly four eyes nobody liked!) but me. I would have gotten over that eventually except for the fact that she actually lived next door from me and I could hear and see the party the entire time. It has honestly really fucked me up for the rest of my life and to this day I get really, really sensitive about being left out of things. Few years later after I had skipped ahead 7th and 8th grades, she asked to sit with me at the cafeteria in high school cause she didn't know anyone or how things worked. I let her.
I know I shouldn't have watched it, but I did. And they knew I did. And they made me feel awful about it.
I have had a hard time in life trying to harness my power, but as I get older I have realized it is more of a choice than anything. And it's hard work. But it needs to be done. I remind myself I am not my past. I can make every day amazing. I can have the best future if I work hard and stay positive. Treating people well and being a good person makes me feel good and I don't think I would be as good a person had I not struggled so hard. Things are finally starting to be consistently good for me and I think there is power in that as well as I am taking that to motivate myself and keep going through college and working hard.
Rupi Kaur, The Sun & Her Flowers, 2017. I actually saw a reading of hers live and it really changed me. Both of her poetry books have helped me harness my power and feel like the strong woman I am and set me on fire to keep going.
Amazing post this week. You've written two very short stories and end with a very poised and wise conclusive paragraph. I like the how you frame the lesson around this - and realize that power (and happiness) is a choice that requires follow up work. Very well put.
Your stories are well told. You offer lots of very specific details that put the reader right there with you in that cafeteria and in that fabric shop. These fine details create the setting, the mood, and may provide key symbolism. Good, artistic telling of these stories. They are interesting, personal, and full of real emotion.
I'm glad that you have this passion for design and that it taps into your power. The story about middle school/high school... it's all too common and it's all too painful for many. But the past does not define, as you mention. It can imprison some... while others are able to walk away from it - stronger, wiser, and open to the new.
I just bought that Rupi Kaur book. I like her work very much.
Eric Lee's 24th birthday. You, Katie, Ashley & Dave pre-gamed on the T with a handle of pink lemonade Burnett's and Dave peed in our bed that night. Dear Tiffany, How are you doing? I am writing this to you because I miss you deeply and I want to thank you for all that you've given me and helped me with. Things are not and have not been the same since you left us. You've taught me the true meaning from friendship and what it means to be fiercely loyal to someone. I have actually been incredibly spoiled by you because not everyone was as loyal as you were and I expect entirely too much from people. But it's better this way. You've also taught me to love myself unconditionally. When I first met you in Kindergarten, you were so silly. Silly enough that you came to school dressed up as a Hershey's Kiss once for Halloween. Though if we asked you now, you'd deny it up and down. You were always so down to go and do whatever stupid, silly thing w...
Boy, oh boy. I've been waiting for this week. I'm over it, but I'm still not over it. Where do I even begin? Buckle up because this is gonna be a long one. Avery was a guy who came into my life in the fourth quarter of 2016. In previous entries, you may have read how 2016 was super shitty for me. Well, he was the king of shit mountain for me. The only good thing he ever did for me was teach me exactly how not to be in a relationship. During the course of our relationship he did the following: had sex with his ex and I found out because she wrote "daddy's little slut" on his fridge moved out of Massachusetts to Baltimore, MD the day before my birthday got in between myself and a coworker of mine he stopped hooking up with once we got to dating, and it almost came to blows at work had sex with a girl he knew I did not like and lied to me about it, I only found out because I found the condoms (ahem, my condoms) next to the bed, conviently the day befo...
Life happens so quickly these days that you never really realize how they affect you until you're already thousands of dollars deep in therapy and you're halfway through a bag of hot Cheetos and sativa. One of my best friends always tells me that life is just a series of teachable moments. Every situation and every person can teach us something on our path of becoming our greater selves. These moments change us and shape us in ways we couldn't even imagine. Above & Beyond Common Ground 02/09/2018 One big moment that changed the trajectory of my life is when my mom told me my dad wasn't my dad. I was around 12 or 13 years old at the time, and we were just lying in bed at night talking. I don't even remember how it came up but she had something important to tell me, and I told her I knew already (though I don't know how I knew) and she told me. It's still incredibly painful to think about and I've blocked out a lot of the memories of the feeli...
Jess,
ReplyDeleteAmazing post this week. You've written two very short stories and end with a very poised and wise conclusive paragraph. I like the how you frame the lesson around this - and realize that power (and happiness) is a choice that requires follow up work. Very well put.
Your stories are well told. You offer lots of very specific details that put the reader right there with you in that cafeteria and in that fabric shop. These fine details create the setting, the mood, and may provide key symbolism. Good, artistic telling of these stories. They are interesting, personal, and full of real emotion.
I'm glad that you have this passion for design and that it taps into your power. The story about middle school/high school... it's all too common and it's all too painful for many. But the past does not define, as you mention. It can imprison some... while others are able to walk away from it - stronger, wiser, and open to the new.
I just bought that Rupi Kaur book. I like her work very much.
GR: 98